What is love

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My interpretation of love.
I have read a vast amount of books, trying to understand the meaning of love, and i have realised that each book is representitive of the authors view of love.
It is a feeling that makes us feel good. When i think back to my childhood, i cannot remember any kind of love. Because of my lack of understanding i turned to books for the answers. When i could not find the answers in books i turned to religion. After a few years of brainwashing that religion does not promote love, but fear. I would constantly be worried that i was commiting some or the other kind of “sin“, and God would send me to hell. No priest could provide me with a intelligent answer, to the most basic questions. I was expected to follow blindly and not question anything. Nothing made sence to me and it felt like i was living in hell.

I started looking elsewhere for love.
Dope, extasy, LSD, poppers, glue, cough medicine and boose became my best friends. Each helping me to forget a painfull and empty world. The shadows of yesterdays sorrows following me around in an endless bliss to never never land.
Every now and again Uncle Charlie, would pay a visit, encouraging me to search for the elusive entity called love.
I had still not found love!!!!!!!!

Over time music helped to create a world that helped me to“feel“ and look within myself. A tab of LSD, showed me new realities. My invisible friend had still not revealed his true nature.
Sex, drugs, booze, music, books, traveling to other universes all provided a temporary experience that felt like love.

Over the years i have met so many people who have gone through the same experiences, and it seemed to me that people are empty inside, with no real understanding of love.

A woman will fantasize her whole life about that magical day when her knight in shining armour will come and sweep her off her feet. In her mind she has already decided that if he looks a certain way, has tons of money, drives a certain car-he will be perfect. The reality is there is no perfect and certainty. When we have already decided on something in our minds, we close off so many other opportunities, because we only see what we have already created.

I dont think it is possible to define love. Mabey in the abstract. Love at first sight normaly means lust at first sight. When a couple are together , it is the shared experience that is an aspect of there love for one another.
It is impossible to say that true love means to love unconditionally. There are to many individual factors for this to be a reality.
What love does is allow us to feel something good for a period of time.

If i say to a woman “I love you“ what am i really saying. I love your body, your face, your personality, your humour or who you are as a person. If she was not part of my life anymore would i still love her.We love another person because we have already created within our minds an image of what that person means to us. Personaly i “love“sexy, slim, creative, intelligent women. I dont “love“ big women. This is simply my preferance. I am not loving the person or i would love big women too. In my mind i have determined what love is. Unconditional love means to love everybody no matter what they look like., or what type of personality they have. This is impossible. The reason why we create these images is because we expect the other person to fit in with our own view.

Mabey because of the lack of love during my childhood, i dont understand it, because it is something that needs to be experienced, not thought about.
At some point my search led me to the poet Rumi. Deepak Chopra had added music to the poetry. A gift of love. For the first time in my life a actually grasped the meaning of love. I am not a weeper, but listening to this C.D. helped me to grasp the true meaning of love.

Love is very real, and within us. I think we are afraid to feel love, because we become vulnerable, by exposing our emotions. Once we allow love to fill us, we will want to share this but it could mean rejection. Who wants to be rejected. We all want to be liked and accepted for who we really are


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